Poisonous Water
by just give me a random name
Summary: Akashi Seijuurou and Akashi Seijiirou are twin brothers. What happens when one of them develop feelings for the other? Not brotherly love but a forbidden one?
1. Chapter 1

If I love him more than just as a brother, will we stop being brothers? I'm terrified. I feel like I'm falling apart.

"Sei."

"Yes, nii-san?"

"The chauffeur is waiting, let's go." He stands there, at the door, patiently waiting for me. His mismatched eyes look at me questioningly seeing how I never make my way to the door.

"I'm not feeling well today so I think I'm skipping school." Maybe it's because we are twins, we can somehow read each other's minds. He knows that I'm lying and I know that he knows. But because we are twins, we understand each other's feelings better than anyone else and brother seems to understand that I need some alone time.

"I'll be leaving then, see you later."

* * *

The Akashi twins, that's what they call us. Akashi Seijuurou, me; and Akashi Seijiirou, my brother. If it isn't for his heterochromatic eyes, there is no way for people to tell us apart. We have always been together. We were together even before we were born. I have never thought of leaving brother's side but with this twisted feeling I'm having toward him right now, it's best to keep my distance. What I had initially was a pure, brotherly love. Since when did it develop to this tainted, forbidden love; I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't if mother were still alive. Maybe it wouldn't if Seijiirou didn't climb into my bed and held my hand so I could fall asleep because I missed mother way too much. Maybe it wouldn't if he shows that sincere smile to others too instead of only me. Maybe. Maybe. But I know for a fact even if all these didn't happen I would still love him. As an Akashi, we are taught to always aim for the best, to aim for the impossible. So I aim for him. Akashi Seijiirou is the best in everything; academy, sports, arts, you name it. And he is impossible to have. He is my twin brother. _Dear mother, I'm so sorry._

* * *

"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways." He says as he hands me the class notes. 'For Sei-chan' is written neatly at the corner. His handwriting is as beautiful as he is.

"If the emotions are _ugly_ and it'll come forth later in uglier ways, wouldn't that be horrible? Terrifying even?" I know brother knows. He is, after all, Akashi Seijiirou. He is smart, too smart for his own good. "Thank you for the notes, nii-san."

"Sei."

"Yes?"

What Seijiirou says next surprises me. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Because we are twins, we understand each other's feelings better than anyone else. Brother knows how I feel about him. He is trying to fulfill his duties as a big brother. He is trying to make me feel better. That I don't have to face this alone, that he and I can face this together.

"Aren't we too old to be sleeping together, nii-san?"

"No matter how old we get, you are still my little brother so I don't find anything wrong with that."

"We are twins. You are only 1 minute and 43 seconds older than me."

"You are still my little brother."

"Seijiirou-"

"You are supposed to address me as nii-san. Where are your manners?"

I sigh out in frustration, the notes in my hand crumples a bit. This is no good, these are the notes brother made an effort and took them down for me. Placing them on my table; I can feel his mismatched orbs on me, analysing my body language. It's not that he wants to. It's just a habit we both have after all the Akashi household training. Thoughts are express unconsciously through body language. Master them and you can read minds. _I love you. Can you read my mind now?_

"Let's not fight, nii-san." I walk up to him, "It's been a tiring day for you in school, you should get some rest." My hand lingers on his shoulder longer than necessary before I head to the door and exit my room.

When I come back with a hot mug of matcha, Seijiirou is already lying comfortably on my bed with tousled up hair and sleepy eyes. He reaches out, I hand him the cup but his hand grabs my elbow instead and pulls me down.

"Let me put the cup on the table first."

"Just leave it on the floor."

I take a sip before placing it on the floor. He then engulfs me into a hug and pulls me down onto the bed besides him.

"I feel the most peaceful when I'm with you," brother brushes my hair lazily, "I can be myself when I'm with you. You will never judge me. You will never try to harm me. You are the only one that understands me."

The smile he wears is so endearing and I hate it. It's unfair because I want to kiss him badly. "I have nobody. Except you, there is nobody." I whisper back softly and my body tenses up when I hear no reply from him. Did my voice give away my emotion?

Brother is looking intently at me. His mismatched eyes stare into my crimson ones; I feel like I could get lost in those beautiful eyes. His hand has stopped brushing my hair, it is now place loosely on the side of my neck. _You could slit my throat and I'd still spend my last few seconds thinking about how you touched my neck._

"Just…what are we going to do, Seijuurou?" Because we are twins, we understand each other's feelings better than anyone else. Brother knows how I feel about him. He is trying to fulfill his duties as a big brother. He is trying to make me feel better. That I don't have to face this alone, that he and I can face this together. Because he too, he loves me too.

"The bond we have as brother is special, nothing can break it nii-san. What we have is a special bond, please don't break it." I protest weakly. The look brother has on right now is not doing any good for me. The place where his hand is on my neck is burning. My breathing, I need to control them.

"That's like forbidding me to be who I am, I can't stand that Sei." His face moves closer, his forehead touching mine now. "The love I feel is honest and genuine, you are so important to me I don't want to lose you." His voice and words are so sweet. It's like my body has been soaked in poisonous water. I'm drowning deeper and deeper.

When his lips press gently against mine, I could only think of my dear mother and how sorry I am.

* * *

 **SHLD I ACCUMULATE MY SIN AND WRITE A CONTINUATION? I JUST LOVE AKASHI SO MUCH URGH MY BABY anyway pls tell me what you think of so weird writing incest tho**


	2. Chapter 2

When you kissed me, I died a little inside because I realised losing you would be something I won't ever recover from. That's why it's so painful to love you but I can't stop because you won't let me go. You say our love is special but all I can think of is how wrongful it is. You say we will be together forever but all I can think of is the number of marriage arrangements we both have attended on father's request. You say I make flowers grow in the darkest part of your mind but all I can think of is how your eyes are so icy cold at times, reflecting nothing but darkness in them. I don't want to love you because I love you but I don't know how to love.

* * *

Brother and I have been in this secret relationship for 6 years. We are both working for the Akashi Corporation now. Since he is going to inherit the company being the eldest, father has been setting up numerous marriage arrangements with daughters from prestigious families; all for the sake of expanding the Akashi Corporation. I have attended some too but not as many compared to brother's. The day for our separation is approaching. I can't help but feel sad yet at the same time, relief. The guilt of loving him is eating me away. I'm drowning in a sea of negative thoughts. I don't know how long I can keep this up.

"What are you thinking about?"

"The Yamato Corporation has been giving us some troubles lately." I chew my food slowly. We are having dinner at _our_ apartment. A way too large penthouse for just 2 people but the view is absolutely gorgeous so we bought it.

"If this is about the real estate in Shinjuku, you need not worry. I'll figure out a way to deal with that old man."

"He is probably angry because you decline the offer of marrying his daughter."

"His daughter is just a spoiled rich girl, I find no value in her."

"Then what about Haru-san? She is well mannered, graduated from Stanford University, volunteers at homeless shelter and-"

"-What are you trying to get at?" Brother has put down his cutlery. It's obvious that he lost his appetite.

"Sooner or later, you need to marry someone, born an heir. I know it is inevitable because you are going to inherit the company. I just want to get this whole ordeal done and over with. The longer we are together, the more hurtful it will be when we separate. I'm fine with you getting married as long as your heart belongs to me and only me. I will be fine." I doubt myself at the last sentence.

"But I won't be." He picks up his cutlery again, "I'm a selfish person, you already know that by now. I dislike sharing what is mine so I'm not fine with the idea of you marrying someone. Your heart, your body, everything about you belongs to me. Sei, I will not be fine and I'm angry that you are ok with me marrying someone."

Then I drop the bomb. "Nii-san…Let's stop this…" There is a flash of anger in his eyes. I keep my gaze steady and my facial expression intact. Don't let him read you.

"You know it's too late for us to stop now. We are in too deep." Brother stands up to put his plate in the sink. "I don't know what happened but you are not making any sense."

"None of these is making any sense! What we have here is a twisted relationship, don't you see, Nii-san? Your obsessive love for me, my depressing love for you. Do you know every time I think of how much I love you I get so depressed? I feel so wrong, I feel so tainted, it's just…" I don't realise brother is now next to me. He wraps his arms around my body and looks at me with those eyes that have gentle warmth in them. He calms me down by stroking my hair and humming my favourite song. I look at his ear piercing and remember the day he asked me to pierce it for him.

" _Why?" I asked while holding up the piercing gun._

" _I just want to have a permanent mark engraved on my body from you. The one I love."_

"Who found out?" Brother whispers in my ear.

"…" As I thought, I can never hide anything from him. "Our cousin, Kentaro-san."

"He is very sharp so I'm not entirely surprised. Don't worry, he won't be able to rat on us." Upon hearing this, I know brother has something on his sleeve and he must have known some dirty secrets about Kentaro. If his brain were made up of different compartments, one of them would be titled 'Blackmail Material'.

"I'll never let anything bad happens to you. I'll protect you at all cost my dear Sei." Sweet, sweet words.

"If you ever say you are leaving me again, I don't know what I would do to myself," There it is, the darkness in his eyes, "and to you."

Then I realise, I want this. I want this twisted, obsessive love. I want Seijiirou to think of no one but me. To love me so madly that he couldn't stand the thought of losing me. To have his face contours in pain and sadness because it proves his love to me. I want to mess him up. Make him feel good. Make him angry. Make him cling to me. More.

"More…" I grab his hair and pull his face closer as our lips crash together.

* * *

 **Akashi Seijuurou is of course possessive. I like to think that this trait is ingrained into him and it is so deep that he himself didn't realise it. So he unconsciously thinks and acts in ways that would get him to possess whatever he wants. I like to think of him as a manipulative genius. (Also, i was thinking of writing a sex scene but what little left of my morals stop me from it hahahaha omg i'm not prepared)**


End file.
